So, we apparently saw the 11 Characters PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale Needs. Unfortunately, they're all rubbish. Nathan Drake? Crash Bandicoot? Gravelly Guy From Infamous? Sackboy?! I thought we were making a list of characters the game NEEDS, not ones that are going to TURN UP. There's even a LittleBigPlanet level in the trailer, for goodness' sake!
Mascot crossovers need interesting, obscure, and long-forgotten characters to turn up to be truly appreciated. Just ask that dullard that nobody cares about, Pit from Kid Icarus. So, without further ado, here's a list of 11 characters that PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale actually needs.
Let's start with an easy one. Terrifying, singing, sentient blobs are a perfect fit for a battle game. With their unique ability to combine and split apart, the LocoRoco would make for a great moveset, and strike terror into the hearts of all with their happy faces. Did I mention that making their alternate skins would be a snap, too?
The lead from one of the most ICOnic (do you see!) games in not only the history of the PlayStation 2, but also video games in general, you'd be mad not to include Ico. What would make him interesting is that he'd be teamed up with Yorda, meaning that you'd have to drag her along with you. But, as you remember in the game, she was pretty useful herself, wasn't she?
What do you mean you never played it? Get out.
Forget Spike - you'll want to be playing as these mischievous monkeys instead! Adorable, cheeky, and downright vicious when their helmet alarms go off, the monkeys from the Ape Escape series wield everything from bananas to rocket launchers. And they're pretty speedy, too. Look out for the ones with the night vision goggles!
The pint-sized Prince, tasked in the original Katamari Damacy with rebuilding the cosmos after his dad goes on a drunken bender, never complains. He's also got a dangerous ball called a Katamari which is able to stick to anything of its size. Interesting gameplay possibilities for a brawler, eh?
The original guitar hero, U-1 from Gitaroo Man packs a real punch with his Gitaroo. Previously, he's fought UFOs, space sharks, and Mojo Mojo King Bee (unless you never beat him), so he's definitely up to the challenge of facing off against these next-generation chumps.
Klonoa is a rabbity hero who can use his ears to flap and hover in the air. With the help of the friend living in his ring, Huepow, he can also inflate enemies like balloons with wind bullets, either throwing them across or hurling them downwards to gain extra jump height. His side-scrolling nature would be a great fit for PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.
The star of Brave Fencer Musashi, Musashi starred in a fun PlayStation action RPG from Square that you bought but never played because you played the Final Fantasy VII demo instead. Thanks for nothing! Musashi fights with two different swords, one of which has the ability to be imbued with elemental items for powerful special attacks.
Vibri starred in a game near the end of the PlayStation's life called Vib-Ribbon, which used your own audio CDs to create challenging levels. Vibri walks along the Vib-Ribbon as the song plays, and you must jump, hop, spin, and roll to victory. Depending on how well Vibri's doing, she'll also transform into a fairy, rabbit, frog or crawling television.
And if you tell me that you don't want to play as a character who can turn into a crawling television, well then, you're a liar.
You say Tombi, I say Tomba. Who cares. He's a pink-haired jungle boy with shades of Tarzan, who beats up evil pigs and is armed with savage bites, belly flops, boomerangs and a mace - so he's no slouch when it comes to fighting. (He's also a bit thick.)
His two platformer-RPG-adventure mash-ups appeared late in the PlayStation's life and are cursed with both high demand and low distribution, making them a real treasure for anyone who owns them.
This mechanical rabbit was the star of the early PlayStation game, Jumping Flash, a platformer designed entirely in a first person view. Although it sounds like a recipe for disaster, Robbit has the ability to jump three times, and the camera faces downward upon a double or triple jump which allows you to land precisely.
While the multi-jumping might have to be nerfed a bit for a fighting game, Robbit also has access to a variety of fireworks-based weapons including cherry bombs, rockets and twisters.
Because Nobody Can Stop Mr. Domino.
By Ben Kosmina - Tweet @AussieBen