Duke Nukem Is Better Than You
Duke Nukem is better than you. He knows it, you know it, and your family knows it. Don’t try and deny it, because at the end of the day, Duke has saved all of the hot babes in this world, and all you’ve done is earn a Bachelor of Arts. Nothing can degrade his sheer awesomeness; if Duke and Chuck Norris were to get into a battle, the universe would probably implode.
And Duke would win.
Did you really think that we would never see Duke again? Sheer awesomeness doesn’t just disappear. It’s ageless. See Master Chief. Snake. Hell, even Drake. These characters will last the test of time, because they’re unapologetic action stars, the pure definition of masculinity, and everything every man on the planet would love to be. Duke embraces whatever counters him, mocks it, and then squishes its head, because he doesn’t give a ****. And neither should you. Because Duke Nukem is better than you, and you know it!
If you’ve played Duke Nukem 3D (and if you haven’t, shame on you!), then surely you can appreciate the geeky affection some older gamers have for Duke, probably the most abhorrent and egotistical character in video game history. The thing is, Duke never set out to be anything special on a gameplay scale; his early games rely more on outrageousness and vulgarity than they do actual gameplay. That said, Duke Nukem 3D is still an awesome game to this day, further proof that awesomeness doesn’t just evaporate with time.
It’s been a long time coming since Duke Nukem Forever was first announced. And while you can probably counter any argument proposing Duke’s awesomeness with his apparent entrance into vaporware territory, the fact remains that the game is getting released, and almost entirely as it was intended by the original dev team at 3D Realms. Granted, the folks at Gearbox surely added in their own knicks and crannies to make the game ready for retail release, but at the end of the day, no matter how crap Duke Nukem Forever might be, Duke's always going to be awesome in the minds of many of us.
But why is he so appealing? And who is he actually appealing to? I think Duke’s ability to last the test of time is partly due to the infamous development of his next title, although Duke Nukem 3D is a game that stands on its own right to declare its superiority in the genre. Furthermore, Duke’s lewdness came into relevance when being politically correct wasn’t as cool as it is now, and so he could get away with being a sex-craved maniac, if not because no one cared, then because it was as funny as hell. I can’t imagine Duke having anywhere near as much influence in this social climate, which is depressing to say the least. Will Duke Nukem Forever be as crude and vulgar as previous games? Maybe, but you can bet your sweet arse that someone, somewhere is going to complain about it.
If you’re playing Duke Nukem Forever and someone comments on the vulgarity, throw the controller at them. If someone queries your class for playing such a crude game, tell them to, “come and get some!” And if someone comes up to you with an attitude, offer them a piece of gum.
It’s the Duke Nukem way.
By Gaetano Prestia
How do you think younger gamers are going to associate with Duke? What are your expectations for Duke Nukem Forever?