The James Bond movie franchise turns 50 this year and has had its fair share of highs -- coming to the screen with Dr No, everything about Goldfinger, the gritty Bond in Casino Royale -- and lows -- the ice race in Die Another Day, Roger Moore’s inability to run in the ‘80s and I still don’t know what Quantum of Solace was about.
Those traits are also bestowed upon Bond’s ventures in videogames. In this two-part series, ahead of the Australian release of Skyfall on Thursday, we’re going to look at the best and worst Bond games throughout the ages.
Beginning with the five worst Bond games of all time.
007 Racing | 2000, PS1
Rarely do racing games surmount to anything more than a desperate cash-in on a strong brand name, relying on clueless parents to disappoint children on Christmas morning.
Was there even any racing in this game?
Despite sounding like a ridiculous racing spin-off, there is scarcely any real racing in this game. It was more of a Vigilante 8-style combat game, in which everything was broken. It had the license of cars from all 19 films, including Bond’s iconic Aston Martin DB5, but it certainly didn’t come out of Q branch.
Some men just don't like being taken for a ride.
GoldenEye: Rogue Agent | 2004, PS2, Xbox, GameCube
What an absolute disgrace. The Bond games -- much like the films -- were in a rut in 2004, unsure of where to go next. EA had the brilliant idea of making a sequel to the highly successful GoldenEye, only it wasn’t actually a sequel.
It was simply a misleading title that had nothing to do with Rare’s 1997 masterpiece. It was set in an alternative timeline, involving Goldfinger wanting to murder Dr No and had you play as an ex-MI6 operative. You didn’t even get to play as Bond!
My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done.
007 Legends | 2012, PS3, 360, Wii U
007 Legends makes the list because this is 2012, a year in which Bond is returning to the big screen for the first time in four year and Bond’s 50th anniversary. It deserved a quality game, and the idea of meshing together missions from six classic films didn’t sound too bad. At least not this bad.
While it’s certainly not the worst Bond game out there, 007 Legends is just another generic shooter. Totally forgettable and devoid of the Bond charm.
It'll bring tears to your eyes.
A View to a Kill | 1985, Commodore 64
A View to a Kill is best remembered for a 57-year-old Roger Moore setting a world record for slowest on-screen running (probably) and sleeping with a women less than half his age. He was also older than the mother of that woman.
It was also the first Bond movie to get a direct tie-in game, which may have been a ploy to make the movie look better. While it was the first movie-based game, 25 years later it still holds the title of being the absolute worst.
Bond got stuck in walls, shooting was impossibly complex, and then didn’t work, and following the boring story was a painful ordeal.
Shocking. Positively shocking.
Quantum of Solace | 2008, Wii
The HD version wasn’t the best game, but it certainly wasn’t the worst.
The Wii version, however, was a total disaster. It was one of the worst ports to a console that had a reputation for being utterly screwed by third party developers. The controls didn’t work, there are severe frame rate issues and it had a resounding sense of being all broken.
Worst of all, it came with the feeling that it could have been fun if someone had dedicated the time it deserved. Most Wii shooters are terrible. Then there’s Quantum of Solace.
Don’t touch that! That’s my lunch.
By Ben Salter